Transformation Tuesday: Morning Meltdown

I still haven't weighed myself.  In the past, I've weighed myself a few times during the day, way too many times during the week to see a difference. If no pounds were dropped, all the achievements would be voided by my mind, because I was still X amount of pounds over what I should be.
And thus why I won't weigh myself until this is all over.

Day 1 vs Day 12 Morning Meltdown 100

 I started doing Beachbody work outs about six years ago, all with varying degrees of success. I did Insanity first, an impulse buy when it was on sale. I completed the work out but didn't lose much weight, nor did I notice any big changes.

After that I bounced around trying to find a program that would give results, I tried Turbo Fire, T25, Cize, HipHop Abs... and a few others. No changes really, because I couldn't stick to the program. Time was a big factor. So when I heard about PiYo, I decided to jump in and see what it was all about. I lost a lot of weight and inches with PiYo. I fell in love with PiYo, so I did a second round, PiYo and T258, because I love Shaun T.

However, that wasn't to last. Mental health took a priority over exercise which was silly, in hindsight because exercising helps me much more than anything else.

Day 1st vs Day 19th Morning Meltdown 100

 Now, Morning Meltdown is no joke. Weights, and exercises that sometimes make me want to scream at Jericho... no, scratch that, I scream at her a lot. I like the design of the program. The only thing you have to do is to commit to do 100 work outs. that's 100 days where you're putting yourself first, and doing something for you.

You can take a day off, two days off. I know someone who is doing three of these work outs per week, another one is doing work outs 7 days a week. I'm trying to stick to 6 days, though last week we had a family situation, so I missed two work outs. Instead of beating myself up, I looked at the progress pictures, and carried on.

Day 12 vs Day 30

Friday was the beginning of the second part of Phase two. Day 31.

The work outs are getting harder. Sometimes, I want to give up. Sometimes, I just want to lie on the floor and cry. Sometimes, I've cried. I let myself down in the past. I was in better physical shape two years ago. I could do burpees, even when I was still plus size. I was close to 200 pounds, having lost 60 lbs since I started beachbody. And here I am again.

When I started back in May, Day 1 was hard, but when I finished, I had a good cry. I'd done the entire work out and I'd managed to do everything, taking just a few seconds of rest between exercises. I was still very self-conscious; I was 247 pounds, my stomach stuck out so much that whenever I saw pictures of my younger self, it just fueled my feelings, I wasn't worth it.

It's very hard to control all the voices that might make us feel like that. Exercise does quiet them down, and whenever I see the progress in pictures, I do feel sometimes as if it's not that great, I can see all the flaws still  present, and still making me feel worthless. However, I'm not going to stop. I made a pact with myself. 100 days should be easy. I've endured so much more. 

Plus, my neck's looking slimmer, and that makes me happy. XD Are you doing this channel? Are you doing any other type of exercise? Let me know, we can be accountability buddies. :) 

Day 1 vs Day 31