Dealing with a lot of self-hating over the past two years made me start another round of the Yo Yo dieting, and a You put ten pounds in You lose ten pounds out remix.
Sometimes unwittingly I would trigger myself, most of the times people would make comments, that were ... well not the best.
Funnily enough, a lot of comments came from friends who knew me growing up. Those people who I haven't really seen or spent time with in more than two decades. But they all have an image of me in their mind, no matter how much we've grown up and grown old since then.
High School was a long time ago, if you don't believe me, here's exhibit A.
A lot of things have happened since my senior year back in 1991-1992 and today. College, work, break-ups, wedding, moving abroad, children.
My body has been my Temple and a Prison. But it's not because it really is, but because I've allowed people to dictate how I feel about it. And then there's also the pressure to lose weight, and conform to some sort of elusive beauty standard.
It doesn't help when people close to you tell you you need to lose weight. Hello! It's not like I can't see that in the mirror or the clothes that I'm wearing. Let me just offer this advice now, don't tell people they're fat, they've let themselves go. It's a shitty thing to do to someone you love, because they can see it in the mirror. Don't be Captain Obvious. Instead encourage people to eat healthy, encourage them to exercise with you, or point out groups, etc.
I live a solitary life since I moved to Tampa. My best friends all live out of state, be it in California, or England. Transport here sucks. So I'm home 24/365 days a week. Working out has been my only way to therapy so to speak.
I started with Insanity back in 2014. I'd been diagnosed with high blood pressure and was the heaviest I'd ever been. My asthma bothered me. My blood sugar was borderline so I was told that I was pre-diabetic.
For four years, I continued working out and exercising regularly. However, 2018 I fell off the wagon. I was having a hard time with my writing, a hard time with dealing with my own depression, and it was easier to live in a bubble and not do much about anything. Every time someone would mention my weight gain, or that I needed to exercise, I would take it as an offensive comment, and rebelled by not listening, and digging a hole that was even deeper than before.
At the start of this year I devised a plan. For the last year, I'd been trying to get back into exercising. My eating was not the problem. I had started cooking more vegan/vegetarian dishes, and eating a lot of Kimchi because Kimchi is King. (It also helped a lot with my digestion). Still, I wasn't able to drop the weight, or inches, because I wasn't exercising as before.
With the pandemic arrived a fresh new wave of worries and stress. Mainly about my health since now I'm not only suffering from hypertension and being asthmatic, my weight also makes me an at risk person. So nine days ago i started exercising again.
Yes, some people might say too little too late.. because some people are assholes. I see it as a new chance. So I noticed two of my elementary school friends were doing a 100 day work out. I had no idea what it was about so I googled Morning Meltdown 100 and then started working out.
Tomorrow it's day number ten but I couldn't wait to take my progress pictures, as I'm halfway through the first 20 days of Phase one.
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Jericho McMatthews program is all about committing to working out for 100 days. And that's the commitment that I've done not only with myself but with my family. 100 days and then we'll see if I enroll in my favourite work out, PIYO or I do another 100 days. the possibilities now seem endless. XD
LYN
Sometimes unwittingly I would trigger myself, most of the times people would make comments, that were ... well not the best.
Funnily enough, a lot of comments came from friends who knew me growing up. Those people who I haven't really seen or spent time with in more than two decades. But they all have an image of me in their mind, no matter how much we've grown up and grown old since then.
High School was a long time ago, if you don't believe me, here's exhibit A.
That's me first from the left, with the humongous earrings, and a gown that is swallowing me up. That picture, as I noticed last week on May 15th, turned 28 years old. That young girl of almost 18, was not known as a good eater. In fact, I skipped both breakfast and lunch for almost all four years of high school to stay on the petite side, after a series of comments were aimed at my young womanly body.
My body has been my Temple and a Prison. But it's not because it really is, but because I've allowed people to dictate how I feel about it. And then there's also the pressure to lose weight, and conform to some sort of elusive beauty standard.
It doesn't help when people close to you tell you you need to lose weight. Hello! It's not like I can't see that in the mirror or the clothes that I'm wearing. Let me just offer this advice now, don't tell people they're fat, they've let themselves go. It's a shitty thing to do to someone you love, because they can see it in the mirror. Don't be Captain Obvious. Instead encourage people to eat healthy, encourage them to exercise with you, or point out groups, etc.
I live a solitary life since I moved to Tampa. My best friends all live out of state, be it in California, or England. Transport here sucks. So I'm home 24/365 days a week. Working out has been my only way to therapy so to speak.
I started with Insanity back in 2014. I'd been diagnosed with high blood pressure and was the heaviest I'd ever been. My asthma bothered me. My blood sugar was borderline so I was told that I was pre-diabetic.
For four years, I continued working out and exercising regularly. However, 2018 I fell off the wagon. I was having a hard time with my writing, a hard time with dealing with my own depression, and it was easier to live in a bubble and not do much about anything. Every time someone would mention my weight gain, or that I needed to exercise, I would take it as an offensive comment, and rebelled by not listening, and digging a hole that was even deeper than before.
At the start of this year I devised a plan. For the last year, I'd been trying to get back into exercising. My eating was not the problem. I had started cooking more vegan/vegetarian dishes, and eating a lot of Kimchi because Kimchi is King. (It also helped a lot with my digestion). Still, I wasn't able to drop the weight, or inches, because I wasn't exercising as before.
With the pandemic arrived a fresh new wave of worries and stress. Mainly about my health since now I'm not only suffering from hypertension and being asthmatic, my weight also makes me an at risk person. So nine days ago i started exercising again.
Yes, some people might say too little too late.. because some people are assholes. I see it as a new chance. So I noticed two of my elementary school friends were doing a 100 day work out. I had no idea what it was about so I googled Morning Meltdown 100 and then started working out.
Tomorrow it's day number ten but I couldn't wait to take my progress pictures, as I'm halfway through the first 20 days of Phase one.
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| Day One vs Day 9 Morning Meltdown 100 |
LYN
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